I want to begin by saying my actual blog will have nothing to do with head lice in the sense that you all are probably thinking. I am using head lice as a metaphor about life. I love metaphors! I love the way using a metaphor or perhaps an analogy to describe our great misfortunes in life can really take the edge off of otherwise serious or tramatic situations........ and God knows we've all got our sobb stories!
When I first mentioned the title of my blog to a friend of mine, her immediate reaction was "EEWW!" Her response stemmed from the tramatic rejection she and her daughter received when years earlier her daughter had gotten "it" at school and the very mention of the word "head lice" brought back horrible memories of the event even though several years had since past.
When we say the words HEAD LICE, everyone winces and makes the "eeww" noises and crude faces as if it were somehow the evil step-sister to leprosy. (A chronic communicable disease characterized by nodular skin lesions and the progressive destruction of tissue). Being honest, spotting a white spec in your child's hair is enough to make most parents panic, not to mention it scores HIGH on the yuck factor scale!
Let's face it, if you have a child (or children, this just means your extra fertile AND have dealt with "it" more than once) you have gotten the tragic news that your little prodigy has been stricken with HEAD LICE! The scarlett letter is sent home from the school nurse and the dreaded phone call inevidably follows! Your perfect life as you knew it, is over!
The next wave of emotions happen in exactly this order:
DENIAL: Are you sure? How can you be sure? "Perhaps you have mistaken her head with another child's head, they all look alike at this age. "Scrotum Jones" is a very common name, I am sure we received the letter by mistake. I better get a second opinion..Give me that magnifier! Those are not nits, that's left over oatmeal! I know oatmeal when I taste it!
ANGER: This is some kind of conspiracy! Things like this don't happen to people like me! I'm calling my lawyer, you haven't heard the last of us!
BLAME: Who gave "this" to my child? I want the names and hygiene habits of everyone at that school!
We shower everyday with expensive soap that has little gold embossed bumble bees on the glass bottle, which, by the way, is made of rare crystal! Obviously this is the school's fault! I am a tax paying citizen!
ACCEPTANCE: Finally when the shock settles and the smoke clears, we wipe away the tears, burn the scarlett letter (evidence is NOT good) and drive 40 miles to the "nearest" walgreens for a vat of medicated lice shampoo. Of course, we tell the salesperson, we are here for "a friend".
Now, how does this in any way relate metaphorically to our lives you ask? Well, I don't know how any of this relates metaphorically to YOUR life, but I will tell you how it relates metaphorically to mine.
Here I go: Even though there is very little we can do to ward off head lice, and contrary to the scary name, head lice is not a scourge of the lower classes of society nor is it a sign of poor hygiene. It effects children across all levels of income, social class and cleaniness. Head lice can even survive up to six hours underwater, so even those of us who bathe with the finest, most luxurious soaps with bumble bees on the bottle are still vulnerable to catching it.
My entire childhood, I had always felt different. I always felt like I carried the scarlett letter. (whooa is me!) I was from a broken AND poor family and was a child who would only dream of belonging. I had very low self esteem growing up and as I grew older never thought I was good enough to get the cute guy or smart enough to win the awards nor did I think I deserved the best of....well.... anything.
Emotions are a lot like head lice. Those very tiny six- legged insects can be very powerful! They cling to the scalp and neck and feed on human blood. How can something so tiny (the size of a sesame seed) almost invisible to the naked eye stir up such feelings of denial, anger, and blame before we finally accept the news and focus on how to fix it?
In my life, I always denied my upbringing and would lie to people about being from a broken home and not having that idealic childhood. I used to have such bad self esteem that I would even lie about my name. I have been angery for so long because of the pain that came along with my childhood. I have blamed my mom for her bitterness, my dad for his absence, my sister for her ability to possess my dad's love, my brother for, well, I don't know what I blame him for, but I don't want to leave anyone out. But it shouldn't be about denial, anger or blame. Just like we are not privy to choosing if we get head lice or not, none of us choose the life we are given, but we choose how we develop that life.
Being dealt a life less than perfect shouldn't be a gross embarrassment or a stigma that we are doomed to carry around. "HEADLICE" happens to all of us! Sometimes in the beginning stages of our lives, sometimes in the middle stages of our lives. It's not about if we get headlice, but when. And once we get it, how fast we are able to grab that lice shampoo, massage it into our scalps, get one of those fine tooth combs and methodically wash out the blood sucking creatures that can either destroy us or be fun conversation at the next holiday party....."Remember the time Scrotum had head lice"....(crowd bursts into laughter..)
This blog is going to be about FINALLY accepting my "brush with lice." The lice that has virtually been sucking my blood for years, years before I even realized I had it!
Without blame or finger pointing, this blog will be a journey about recreating my life story and dealing with my obssession with perfection, loneliness, overcommittment, self deprivation, bad parenting (on every level) my addiction to shopping and many other fun and rewarding topics that invade my head space on a daily basis!!
Won't you please join me on the journey?
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